Ghanaian counselor, Counselor Adofoli has advised social media users to know what they really want before they venture into a relationship.
The renowned relationship expert made this known in a recent post which he titled, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU DATE and it reads;
“You are in a relationship with someone who is keeping other relationships which you don’t want. Each time you complain about it, there is a misunderstanding. This could be someone they refer to as their Ex, baby mama or baby daddy or a relationship they claim they don’t want, yet can’t end it.
To you, there is no reason why your partner is keeping the other relationship, you seem to know what to do but your partner on the other hand does not. You think them leaving the other relationship is a simple thing to do but your partner sees it as difficult or complicated. Citing reasons that they are waiting for the right time or opportunity to end it without hurting anyone.
You don’t need to give your partner a lecture on how to end the relationship with others. You don’t need to call the other person to threaten them or ask them to stay away. This is not because your partner doesn’t know what do to. As a matter of fact, your partner is doing what they want by keeping the other relationship.
Your partner is asking for time to break up or let go the other relationship and you don’t know how much time they need. You keep wondering if you can trust them or whether you should continue the relationship or not.
At a point you begin to doubt them and question their love and trust. One thing you need to know is that, you have no control over your partner and can’t control their happiness, feelings or mind or what they want.
You don’t need to make decisions for them. Relationships are for mature people and your partner should know what is best for them if truly they are mature. If he or she is mature, then they know what they are up to.
The one you can make decisions for is you. You know yourself very well, you should know what you want, what is good for you and what is not. You have control over yourself and know what you can do and what you can’t. As a matter of fact, you trust yourself more than anyone. You can’t lie to yourself.
So take the best decision that will reflect what you want. If you don’t want a partner who keeps other relationships around, but your partner is doing so, then accept it that you are with the wrong person. You should know what to do. If you don’t know what to do, you can’t teach or show your partner what to do.
If you don’t know what you want, your partner will explore and manipulate you. People do that by saying “put yourself in the shoes of the other person I’m in a relationship with, is it fair to leave them when they have been good to me and not wronged me?”. And they suggest their partner puts their leg in the shoes of the supposed partner they find difficulty in letting go. But one thing we forget is that if the partner they don’t want to let go was that good to them, why won’t they stay with them but want a new relationship?”
Let no one play on your intelligence or play with your emotions. When you allow that, you give them power to play with your heart. The heart is the Centre of life, it holds your life. If you allow anyone to play with your heart in the name of love or relationship, you end up with broken heart or even lose your life. You get to a place where you feel you are alive but you don’t feel like living due to the pain inflicted on your heart.
In conclusion “let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance” – Proverbs 1:5 (NIV).”
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