Hello Naijaloaded, Please hide my identity. I need your advice please.
I was in a relationship with someone during my first year in the university. He was actually in final year while I was in year one.
I can say he was my one true love. We met in the campus fellowship …he and I became very good friends.
Towards the end of his final year, he made his intentions of love to me.
I also loved him. His family wanted him to go do his master abroad immediately after final year. Because of that, he wanted to make love to me…I was a virgin and he wanted to seal our love before he travelled out.
I refused initially but he made it look like I did not love him enough so I gave in and he took my virginity.
After that, he gave me postinor to avoid getting pregnant. I cried when he was leaving and we kept in touch on the phone and social media after he travelled. He always confessed his love for me all these time.
He too was shocked …he then told me to abort the baby cos he is not sure he is the one. He insisted that he gave me postinor and there is no way he is responsible for the pregnancy.
That no one gets pregnant after they just have s*x the first time in their life plus after using contraceptive.
That really broke me cos I have never slept with anyone ever after him. Long story short, he blocked me on phone and all platform.
I had to tell my roommate who helped me to get to a clinic for the abortion. It really made me depressed throughout year two. I was failing so bad in my courses…I basically had Es and Fs all through.
But God helped me and I bounced back in year three. I stayed away from boys no matter how sweet they tried to persuade me.
I eventually had an extra year because of my 200 level grades were so bad.
Since then, I have graduated and I now work in a bank. I started dating someone during my service year, but it seems every guy wants s*x before marriage and from my last experience…
I have no intention of having s*x before marriage…so we broke up.
I met some again a year ago. He is ok. We are just dating and seeing how things would go.
All of a sudden…my ex who broke my virginity and disowned the pregnancy reached out to me. I ignored his messages until he called me…
I did not know it was his no…but when he called …he said he wanted to meet me to apologize for how he treated me.
I dropped the call on him. Since then, he has being doing everything to get me back. He went to my family, my sisters and everyone that knows me to beg me.
He said he panicked when I told him I was pregnant but God later revealed to him years later that he actually betrayed me…I told him I have forgiven him but we can never be together.
Still…he keeps messaging me. Now, I am seeing him in my dreams and I see me having s*x with him in my dreams. I feel he is emotionally manipulating me.
I had to block him. On my birthday last month, he bought me expensive diamond pieces of jewellery and flowers.
My boyfriend saw it and got jealous….he said I should return the gifts and choose who I want to be with.
I told my boyfriend I don’t want anything to do with my ex. But two weeks later, I woke up from a very vivid dream…
I was with my ex again…kissing and making love…I woke up …wet ..I had an orgasm really…I decided to fast and pray to get him out of my head.
I told my pastor I was fasting about something that he should join me
At the end of the 3 days fasting, my pastor called me to say God told him that that person I am running from is my destiny. I was confused.
I had to open up to my pastor about what happened. He was surprised but he said that is what God told him…that my ex is the one for me…that I should forgive him …that God’s way is not man’s way…after all…my ex has repented…
Ma, I am seriously disturbed…is this really God’s plan for me? How do I forget what this guy put me through and marry him?
I had an extra year in school because of him….I suffered years of depression because of him…I had an abortion because of him…how do I forget that?
I am still struggling with the deep passion I have for him anytime I dream about him and the pain of what he did to me. I need advise. I am also afraid of missing God’s destiny for me…if I cannot accept him…is it true that I would have missed God’s plan for my life?
I am not doubting my pastor…I am just really…really confused…