Renowned Ghanaian counselor, Counselor Adofoli has stated that it is not the duty of the man to be the first person to call in a relationship.
He made this known in a recent post he made on his Facebook page which he titled, ‘FIRST TO CALL IS NOT THE DUTY OF THE MAN’.
The post reads;
“In 2021, one of the very things that need to change is the topic above. When you look at today’s relationship, it looks like the first person expected to call is the man. The proof of his love is when he is the first to call in the morning and the last to call in the evening. Once he fails to call first, it means he has changed or is talking to someone else or he is no longer in love. Such an assessment is not true and needs to be changed.
It is very true that the man who wants you and wants to lead you in marriage should be serious, he needs to show his seriousness and demonstrate his love for you. How he calls you from the beginning of the relationship tells how serious he is with you. But once you know how serious he is, how passionate he is about you, how much he loves and values you, you don’t need to wait for him to be always the first to call you.
If calling you means he is serious with you, you should also show your seriousness by calling him instead of waiting for him to be the first to call. If being the first to call shows he loves you, you should also show him your love by calling instead of waiting for him to call first. If calling you first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening shows how much he cares about you, then if you truly care about him, nothing should stop you from calling too.
Relationship is two ways. It is not the man’s relationship because he wants you, it’s “our” relationship if you agreed to be in a relationship with him. If you didn’t want it as well, you wouldn’t have accepted his proposal. By accepting his proposal, you want to give as much as he gives. you want to make it work as much as he is willing to make it work. As the saying goes “If Mohammed won’t go to the Mountain, then the Mountain must come to the Mohammed”.
It makes no sense to become worried, moody without calling and jump into conclusion that he has changed. If waiting for his calls is making you feel uncomfortable, then call him. Let him know the relationships matters to you too. Let him know you are also serious about the relationship. Let him know you care and love him too.
Again, what to discuss each time a call is placed is not entirely the role or duty of the man. Telling him to bring something for you to talk about or discuss just means you two have nothing to talk about. So please drop the call instead of being on phone for minutes and hours without saying anything and getting angry and frustrated. Such behaviours are childish.
Relationship is a collective responsibility of you two to develop interests so you have lots to talk about. If you fail to develop interest, you will have nothing to talk about or share. It simply means you are two boring people who are trying to keep each other company. Sometimes, it is just normal to call to check on your partner without talking much, but the attempt of trying to make the call last by repeating the same thing is boring.
I know sometimes people hide how they feel about their partner with the fear that once he or she gets to know they are in love with them, they might do things to hurt them. The most beautiful relationship is the one where both partners are so much in love with each other and don’t want to let go. Let your partner know you love them too. They will be happy to know that they are not in love alone.
Remember, in love, there is nothing like fear. The very thing you are afraid of is what will make you happy. If you have questions about his character, please take a look at the friends or the people he hangs around with. Birds of a feather flock together.
In conclusion, “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment” – 1 John 4:18 (GNT).”
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