No shame in tribulation


A worrisome update of a friend on the social media made me reach out to her via inbox. It turned out that she was battling potentially terminal health challenges.

In the update, she made a vague reference to her battles and then asked friends to keep her in their prayers. I also reached out to a mutual friend who shares ties with her and learned finances have been a challenge.

I got back to the ailing sister and asked for her account details. I proceeded to put up a post about her situation and appealed for support. The response was overwhelming and she was thankful for my efforts.

The same woman would later ask me to pull down the post because “some people said she was embarrassing herself and her husband’’ by soliciting assistance publicly.

As far as I am concerned, there are things you don’t do. Shaming others for how they choose to cry for help. If your reaction to someone’s “cry for help” is guilt tripping or shaming them about embarrassing themselves or some name, I put it to you that you are an enabler of DYING IN SILENCE!

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Always bear this in mind that no one truly understands what has not happened to them.

Thinking that your intervention/support will be insignificant.

My N5, 000 has solved a problem that N30,000 wouldn’t have been able to scratch, if there was a further delay.  The TIMING of the intervention made the difference.

It’s not always about “how much” but the significance of your gesture. The significance is this. You are holding their hands and telling them “you are not alone.” You are giving them back their will-power to fight and overcome their circumstances.

It’s the gestures that we make to people we owe no such things to that actually rekindle their hope in humanity. And they will most likely pass on the torch.

A friend once said that he often felt his ‘little’’ cannot make any impact and could be looked down upon. I used to struggle with a similar sentiment too until I understood the significance of a widow’s mite.

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It’s really not about the quantity but the intention and timeliness, too! Letting your CRY FOR HELP be silenced by those who are NOT in your shoes. I mean, human beings who cannot even begin to imagine your pains! Sometimes, what you need to overcome your challenges is to be loyal to your reality! Life knocks everyone down when it chooses. What matters is finding the courage to stand right back up.

When grappling with life’s knockout, what people are saying or the one they might say should be the least of your worries.

Find your feet, first and then give them more to say when you return to give the glory to God. Listen!

When a life is at stake (especially) or HELP is needed, the only thing that should take a far back seat is ego and shame. Don’t let “what they will say” be the reason you die in silence.

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Even God will frown at that! His commandment that we be our brother’s keeper isn’t so that you choke on your struggles. Don’t underestimate the power of good spirited interventions on your issues. And please learn to appreciate goodness for what it is, without feeling belittled.

Frankly, there’s no shame in tribulation! It’s on the path of our pain that we often find redemption. I have always said that there are no challenges (health and otherwise) that goodwill, support, genuine care and love cannot conquer. Using another’s pain as a popularity stunt, tale peddling and fraudulent activities.

There’s a special place in HELL for the latter, especially. You have no more soul when the pain of another becomes an avenue to enrich or amuse yourself!

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